


Secrets I have held in my heart.

by Gay5sos



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Making Out, No Homo, Thing - Freeform, idk - Freeform, its totally platonic tho, lashton fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:23:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay5sos/pseuds/Gay5sos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some totally platonic making out between to best friends. You know, for practise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets I have held in my heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Secrets I have held in my heart,  
> are harder to hide than I thought,  
> Baby I just wanna be yours,  
> I wanna be yours I wanna be yours.

The two blonde boys lay across each other on Ashton's bed, Luke's legs dangling over the older boy's as he flicked through a magazine. They were both supposed to be working on a school project, but had somehow ended up staring at the ceiling, listening to Greenday songs.

Ashton tried not to notice that his skin was burning up under the touch of Luke's.  
It wasn't as though he had a crush on his best friend. He had just been noticing him a lot.

Like when they watched movies together, and Luke curled up under his arm, even though he was the taller of the two, and Ashton just kind of wanted to kiss his head. Or when he walked around Ashton's house in just pyjama bottoms after sleepovers, and Ashton found himself wondering what it would be like to run his hands down the boys torso and straddle his waist.

It was irritating, if anything. But Luke didn't suspect a thing, and it had been weeks since Ashton first wondered what it would be like to feel Luke's lips on his.

"..so then apparently Michael hooked up with her at the party and now they're dating."

Ashton hadn't even noticed that Luke had started telling a story, but now he paid attention, rolling over to face him.

"Who?"

"Michael."

Ashton rolled his eyes. "No, Michael and who?"

Luke let out an exasperated sigh. "Michael and Casey."

"So what like..Michael has a girlfriend now?"

"Yes." Luke whined, sitting up and crossing his legs on the bed, Ashton doing the same. "That's my point. I mean, we're sixteen and we've never had girlfriends. Don't you think that's a little strange?"

Ashton didn't, for a few reasons.

"I mean," Luke continued, brows furrowed, "I haven't even kissed anyone. What if I meet the love of my life and they think I'm a bad kisser? And then they ditch me and I miss out on an awesome opportunity."

Ashton didn't like the sound of that. The thought of Luke kissing someone else made him feel sick to the stomach. But not because he fancied him or anything.

"I have." He said quietly, not thinking it through, really.

Luke snapped his head around to him like lightening.

"Have what?"

"Kissed someone."

Luke's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Really? When? Wait, with who?"

Ashton could feel his face begin to flush.

"It wasn't all that good, I mean, it was just some random girl at the party. I wanted to get it over with, but if I'm honest it was kind of sloppy."

Luke groaned and flopped back down on the plain blue sheets again.

"That means that I'm the only kiss-virgin left. Ashton you have to help me find someone."

Ashton did not want to do that. He let out a small fake-laugh and fiddles with his wrist bands.

"Ash?"

"Yep."

"What was it like?"

Ashton raised an eyebrow. "I told you, it was wet. We were drunk. It wasn't fun."

Luke rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

"No, I mean like, which way do you lean? Where do you put your hands? What are you supposed to do with your tongue? Oh god, I'm such an amateur." He groaned, clapping his hands over his eyes.

"Hey hey, I'm sure it'll come naturally when it happens." Ashton rested his hand on the boy's shoulder.  
Then another thought came to mind.

"What if.." he trailed off immediately, realising that this thought would be the road to ruin for their friendship.  
Luke looked up at him, hope in his clear, blue eyes.

"What if, what?"

"It's nothing." Ashton mumbled, fiddling with his wristbands again.

Luke pulled a face of disgust. "Come on, don't be that guy!" he jeered, poking his best friend in the ribs. "Don't be the 'never mind' guy!"

"Alright, alright, stop that tickles." Ashton let a giggle slip through his lips, fighting the blue-eyed boy's hands away from him.

"What if we like, I don't know.." he hesitated, "..practised."

Luke's eyebrows shot up, smile faltering into a questioning look.

"Practised with who?"

Ashton could only avoid eye contact now, face completely flushed.

"With each other. In a completely non-gay way, I mean, only for the experience- It doesn't even matter, it's stupid." he mumbled, tripping over his words.

He looked up at Luke, who cocked his head.

"Alright."

Ashton froze, relief and confusion waving over him.

"What?"

"I said, you can teach me how to kiss." Luke repeated, voice steady, although there was no denying the colour creeping up onto his cheeks.

"Okay."

And now, Ashton's heart was racing at 1000 miles per hour and his hands were shaking a little as he crawled over towards his best friend. It's just a kiss, he thought, its just a kiss that I've been imagining for weeks now.

"Okay em.." he fumbled, before picking Luke's large hands up and setting them to rest on his hips. And god damn did they fit well. He then decided to drape his arms around the boy's neck, all the while Luke obeyed obediently, watching his every move and taking notes.

Ashton leaned in, and resting his forehead on Luke's, let out a hug breathe to prepare himself. He then tilted his head a little to the left, and placed a simple, short kiss on the boy's lips. They were really fucking soft.  
Luke didn't respond, and Ashton pulled away, worriedly, and looked into his eyes. Before he could say anything, Luke gave him a quick nod, and gripped his hands tighter on Ashton's waist.

This was the signal for him to lean in again, and place a slightly longer kiss on the boy's lips, Luke responding this time, pursing his lips slightly to lock with Ashton's.  
His heart was racing and his stomach was swarming with those damn butterflies. Okay so maybe he had a small crush. The second time they pulled away, Luke looked down and whispered

"No homo." and Ashton couldn't help but giggle.

He was about to lean in for kiss number 3, when a knock sounded at the door. The two teenagers sprang apart, switching off the Greenday song that was playing and throwing open a book or two.

"Come in." Ashton called loudly.

His mum peeked her head around the door. "Just wanted to know what you boys wanted on your pizza."  
When she left, Luke looked at him sheepishly.

"We should probably work on our project now." He said.

And so they did for the rest of the night, until Luke had to go home at 11.

 

The next night, they were practically lying in the exact same position, except it was Blink-182 that was playing, and it was Ashton's legs draped over Luke's.  
They really probably should have been working on that project, considering it was due in a couple of days, but it seemed so much more appealing to do what they were doing.

The kiss(es) had been on his mind nearly every second since it had happened. The thought of Luke's lips on his for even the brief amount of time they had been there was enough to make his head light. He was trying to come up with a way to ask him to do the same again without sounding like a weirdo when

"Hey so you know yesterday, when we kissed and all?" Luke said nonchalantly, like it was no thing.

"Yeah.." Ashton said cautiously. He wasn't sure where this was going.

"Do you think we could like, practise some more?" Luke said, blue eyes shining.  
And before Ashton knew what he was doing, Luke's hands were on his hips, and their lips were locked.  
Ashton wanted to try to push the boundaries.

He pressed in a little closer, and opened his mouth a little, Luke stumbling into the vacant space, unaware of the sudden movement. When he adjusted though, with a nervous laugh, he copied exactly what Ashton was doing. Not that Ashton had the slightest idea what he was doing.

He hadn't even kissed the drunk girl for this long, and she certainly hadn't given him the butterflies Luke was giving him. Ashton was just trying to copy what he had seen in the movies.

Whatever he was doing, though, it was working, because Luke was complying, mouth opening and lips locking again in the slow, steady rhythm they had going.  
Eventually, though, they had to break apart to breathe.

"Ash, do you mind if I ask who you need the practise for?" Luke said after inhaling a few deep breaths.

 _No one, I'm just using this as an excuse to suck your face off_.

"Oh, no one in particular. Just for like, future reference. Yeah."

"Oh."

"What about you?" He said, raising his eyebrows to the slightly younger boy.

Luke shrugged. "It doesn't really matter."

It filled Ashton's heart with hope a little. That was a good sign, right? That Luke didn't want to tell him. Because they told each other  everything, and if he wanted to keep it a secret then it was someone important, right?

"C'mon, Lukey, you can tell Uncle Ashton!" he jeered, poking at his best friend's ribs.

"Ow, stop!" Luke protested through fits of laughter. "It's nothing, you don't know them."

Ashton's heart gave a painful lurch. Ouch.

Well okay, he was asking for that.

He decided it was worth it, though, because his mind was clouded with lust and he wanted to taste Luke again.  
They continued like that for the next couple of days. Luke would come over to his house straight after school, they would put on music by some good band, practise snogging each other's face off, then work on their project for a while.  
One day, while Ashton's was straddling the boy's waist while they lay on the bed, Luke nibbled on his bottom lip, and he let out a gasp.

"Sorry was that-" the blue-eyed boy began, although his eyes weren't that blue anymore, because his pupils were so dilated.

"No do it again." Ashton murmured, pressing their lips together again, letting the boy explore his mouth.

Another time, Ashton took the opportunity of their open mouths to slip his tongue into Luke's mouth. It took a second for the boy to figure out how to return the favour in a way that wasn't in an awkward position, but it worked. They hooked their tongues together in between open-mouthed kisses, and Luke was letting out small moans, which were almost drowned out by the blood pumping in Ashton's ears.

He was in pure bliss.

And then, it ended. They were on Ashton's bed, per usual, kissing lazily. They weren't even thinking about what they were doing anymore, it just automatically happened now. No one even had to ask. They had gotten a C on their project, but Ashton didn't really give a fuck.

When Luke pulled back, Ashton could see that his pupils were blown, and the colour in his cheeks matched the one of a tomato. His eyes were lidded and his breaths were heavy. He looked so stunningly beautiful, and Ashton's mind wasn't clouded with lust enough to brush aside the fact that Luke was thinking of someone else.  
He hadn't told him who, but whoever they were, Ashton was not going to be a substitute for them anymore. He sat up abruptly.

"Well, I think that's enough practising now, don't you."

Luke's clumsy smile faltered, and his brows furrowed.

"What?"

Ashton had an uneasy, gut-wrenching feeling in his stomach.

"Well, you're good now, so we should probably stop."

"Oh. Well if that's what you want."

Ashton blinked. The room was silent.

"Isn't that what you want?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I mean yeah that's fine."

"Okay, fine."

 

The next couple of days were awkward as hell. They weren't exactly avoiding each other, but Ashton found it hard to be in the same room as Luke without missing the taste of his lips.

He did notice, that whoever Luke was so obsessed with, hadn't gotten with the younger boy yet. Luke hadn't mentioned them at all, and even though he knew it was an awkward subject, it was bugging him constantly, and eventually he brought it up.

They were in Luke's bedroom when he mentioned it.

"Luke?"

"Yep!" he answered, looking up from a textbook on something history-ish.

"Are you ever gonna tell me who it was?"

The taller boy let his book fall shut and rolled over to face him.

"What are you on about?"

"C'mon don't make me say it."

Luke continued to stare at him, clearly confused.

"Who you were like, practising for."

Luke's face flushed red immediately, and he flicked his gaze back down to the back cover of the text book. Ashton could tell he wasn't even reading anything.

"Seriously?"

This time, is was Ashton's turn to be confused.

"Seriously what?"

Luke scratched the back of his neck, face still as red as Calum's old Liverpool jersey.

"I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

Silence.

"Luke! _Knew what_?"

"It was _you,_ okay? There's no other person, I like _you_ , Ashton, and I'm sorry for taking advantage of you like that, but you offered and I just wanted to know what it would be like and oh god I fucked up so bad. I'm sorry."

More silence.

Ashton didn't really know how to talk with the massive lump in his throat, but Luke looked as though he was going to cry, so he let out a light-hearted laugh.

"Well thats a huge fucking relief." he said, and the look on Luke's face was priceless.

"C'mere." he cupped the younger boy's face, and pressed his lips to his, and it felt safe, and familiar, like coming home.

"You like me too?"

Ashton hummed and kissed him again because, yep, he was pretty sure that he was a little bit in love.

Luke beamed down at him, eyes dancing.

"No homo, though."

"Okay, whatever you say, loser."


End file.
